I dont even know where to begin ....
I guess back at the beginning of March .. so I have an entire month to catch up on.
Firstly on March 1st my oldest daughter called and stated that she was again having problems in her marriage. This is a marriage that I wish had never happened. It is a relationship that I wish would have never happened. It has been very abusive to not only her but to my grandchildren. But had the relationship not happened I suppose I wouldnt have my awesome amazing grand daughter Laikyn. It was my daughters choice and we tried to support her through it the best we could. There was continual emotional and mental abuse. It was a very very controlling relationship. The fighting was absolutely insane in that household and my grand children were subject to it all! Many times I considered having the authorities step in but time and time again I was told by people in legal positions that it would be an uphill battle for me as the grand parent to remove my grand children from that situation. There was continued infidelity on one side of the relationship and lets just say that it was NOT my daughter. Not even 1 time but the other half was caught anywhere from 1-3 times a month .. yes you read that right and yet my daughter stayed and tried to make it work. So back again on the 1st she calls to tell me again of another incident. I offer my motherly advice and support and the call ends. Saturday the 2nd she calls and tells me that she has decided they are going to do marital counseling and make it work. Again motherly advice and support. If that is her choice that is her choice. She is an adult and I cannot stop it. On the morning of Sunday March 3rd I receive a phone call of her screaming "Mom Mom I want to leave and he wont let me. He has done something to my car. I just want to take the kids and leave" I tell her to call the police and we hang up. My gut instinct tells me to get in the car and make the 90 minute drive to get to her. Before doing that I call the police in her town and ask for an immediate well check on her and my grand kids. As I am headed over there she passes me on the road; so I turn around and meet back at my home. She has been at my home since. She stated she was done. She wanted out of the marriage and it had run its course it was time to end it all. On the morning of March 4th she makes contact with him and informs him that he may call 1 time a day to speak to their daughter. Thats it. Keep this in mind for later in my post.
The night of March 4th at 10:40pm my Mother In Law passed away. We knew it was coming. The week before this we actually had called hospice in to take over her care because we knew the end was near. Did not make it any easier. As I sit here and type this I am choked up with emotion. I miss that woman! Stubborn, hard headed and very independent to the very end I loved her!! Keep in mind also knowing that the end was near we spent every moment we could with her. On this day of her passing my daughter and I were down at the nursing home for quite a few hours with her. During this time the said soon to be ex party mentioned above called multiple times. His voice mails ranged from "I want to talk to my daughter" to "You crazy people are keeping my daughter from me and I am going to come out there and take her" ...he literally spun out of control because we were not at home every minute of the day to "wait" for his call and be at his beck and call. This is the begin of the craziness.
We had a short week of about 7 days where he would call .. talk to his daughter and hang up the phone. We thought ok this is going to work out. We were going to be adult about this and things will be ok. At one point my daughter considered filing the divorce papers on their own. Coming up with a parenting plan on their own. That quickly dissolved. The calls got more and more. There is one day that I have 28 calls from him in a 2 hour time frame. Who has that much time on their hands. In that time frame .. I have 9 voice mails that range from "Lets be adults and work together on this" to "I am going to come get my daughter and take care of all of you people in the process" .. Calling my daughter every name in the book ... screaming into the phone so much so that we could tell he was probably spitting on himself and his phone. He even mentioned FULL name of one of the females he was going to "cheat" on my daughter with. Talk about insane. Now remember I have my youngest daughter and her 2 kids that live with me also. So this chaos was being inflicted on EVERY member of my household. So I put a stop to it. I changed my phone number. He will NOT have it. When the courts order my daughter to allow him to call and speak to his daughter we will find a different phone and number that he can call. My daughter was granted an emergency Temporary Protection Order yesterday and starts a new job today. We just found out that this person has acquired a vehicle so now we have to be hyper vigilant and aware of our surroundings and the people around us. We hope to have a divorce attorney hired within the next week or so'ish. Someone who can help dissolve this union and be an advocate for the best interest of my grand daughter. We dont want to keep her from him. She loves her dad and they have a great relationship aside from her being subjected to the fighting and his bad behaviors. But it apparently is going to take a judge to tell him how he must behave when it comes to her and being around her and also to her mother. Plain and simple. You must conduct yourself as an adult and if you cannot handle that on your own then we will have someone step in and ensure that you do that and if you still cannot do that then you alone will face the consequences of your decisions. I have figured out that throughout his life there really have never been any consequences. He gets what he wants. He gets out of trouble whenever trouble comes his way and so he has ZERO accountability. He will not own up to his behaviors. He wont admit that he acted inappropriately even if it was out of anger and frustration and hurt you still are not allowed to act that way and harass an entire household of people to get your way.
I will do better at updating here and keeping you all up to date on what happens in this situation because it is FAR from over.
She returns to court on April 15 to have the final hearing in the Protective Order situation. Hopefully we have an attorney to be there with her but irregardless we have enough physical proof of his unstable behavior that we will at least get part of what we are asking for. The sad thing is all we are asking for is for him to behave like an adult and conduct himself in a manner as such.
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